Doulas and Dads, A Winning Supportive Team!!!!!!!

Doulas and Dads: A Winning Combination!

In the past the expectant father was one who would be in the waiting room, pacing the floor, anxious to find out what color of cigar band that they were to pass out to friends and family. These men never went with their partners to witness the birth of their baby, and did not find out if they had a son or daughter until either the doctor or nurse came to tell them.

Today's expectant fathers' role is extremely different!

Now most fathers-to-be want to take on an active role in their partner's pregnancy, labor and the care of their future child. Unfortunately some dads are too nervous or uneasy with this role that is now a norm.

There are three different kinds of roles that expectant fathers find themselves in:

1. The fully active labor supportive dad, the dad who wants to be involved in every aspect, down to "catching the baby" or cutting the cord.
2. The in-between dad, the dad who feels comfortable taking on a somewhat active role with his partner during labor and delivery, but does not want to be the primary support person. These dads are still the ones who are usually comfortable with cutting of the cord.
3. The in-active dad, the dad who wants nothing to do with the active primary role of support. He would rather be there as a loving person, to stay by mom's side and to witness his new child being born.

A doula can help support all three of these different dads.

1. For the fully active labor support dad, the doula is a kind of back up, for when dad needs a break from the hard work of labor support. She can also be there to keep dad focused, and to make suggestions.
2. For the in-between dad, the doula and him are a team, they share the role of labor support, are there to be primary support when a break is needed for the other. The doula is there to support dad and mom and to make suggestions for both.
3. For the in-active dad, the doula is there to be primary support. She allows dad to have the experience that he wanted. If he chooses to take on a more active role, she is there to help and make suggestions. Mostly with this dad, she is there to help mom, so dad can experience the birth of his child, and not be there as "labor coach".

The dad's presence and loving support in childbirth is comforting and reassuring. The love he shares with the mother and his child, his needs to nurture and protect his family are priceless gifts that only he can bestow. With the help of a doula during the birth of their child, the mother can experience the best of both worlds: her partner's loving care and attention and the doula's expertise and suppport in childbirth.

My daughter Madolyn with my husband, and her in- between daddy. We had the support of a great doula, which left my husband able to catch his third child, and his first daughter! Having a doula made it easier for him to concentrate on being able to catch his baby.